sometimes good things happen slowly
but everything happens, and just happens, and that’s it
and staying in one place isn’t doing anything for me
For someone who has been very hurt by people I care about leaving me, I sure do leave a lot of people, don’t I?
I could blame it all on some kind of inferiority complex but no one gives a shit, or believes in that, so I’m just gonna say that I can’t help it or whatever and certainly they’ll all have someone else, I hope the others treat them better
it has been so hard to function lately, i have regressed so far, i am so disgustingly foreign to myself now, i need some fucking help
i took a day to visit several places i used to hold very dear and now i feel like they tower above me, like i’m not even good enough to remember being happy
I’m scared I won’t figure things out in time to save the few remaining pieces of my past self. So much of who I used to be was attached to other people, who I’ve lost, or who have left, and I am scared I won’t remember anything good about my time with those people because all that sticks out to me is everything that hurts.
And I’m so ashamed I can’t remember what his voice sounds like
I try so fucking hard and I’m still not worthy of anything so fuck everything and dammit fuck me for being so petty and jealous and incompetent
I haven’t been around for a while
I haven’t been around, or awake, sincere, motivated, confident, conscious, passionate, relevant, worth it, thoughtful, honest etc etc